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Editor’s Note: Way Off the Grid is a satire feature of Off the Grid News. While the articles in this section may deal with current events, they are meant to portray these topics in a satirical and humorous light. MIAMI ...

Editor’s Note: Way Off the Grid is a satire feature of Off the Grid News. While the articles in this section may deal with current events, they are meant to portray these topics in a satirical and humorous light. LOS ...

Editor’s Note: Way Off the Grid is a satire feature of Off the Grid News. While the articles in this section may deal with current events, they are meant to portray these topics in a satirical and humorous light. SIOUX ...

Editor’s Note: Way Off the Grid is a satire feature of Off the Grid News. While the articles in this section may deal with current events, they are meant to portray these topics in a satirical and humorous light.

SANTA CRUZ – Using data from the European Southern Observatory in Chile, an international team of scientists has detected a temperate planet orbiting an M-class dwarf star only twenty-two years from Earth. The team conceded that years of painstaking research has lost much of its glory with confirmation that interplanetary beverage retailer, Starbucks, has already established three coffeehouses there.

Alrighty, then…I looked up and another year is saying adieu.  What did I get done in the past 12 months?  What will I get done in the next 12 months?  While you probably couldn’t care less about my personal successes ...