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Way Off The Grid

Santa Claus Seeks Legal Authority to Rule by Decree

by Adam Utley

Ellesmere Island Ice Shelves – After hopes foundered for an economic bounce back from weak holiday sales, senior international gift-giver, Santa Claus, has called on the...

An Old Fashioned, Polytheistic, Professionally Vetted, Multi-Cultural Merry Christmas From The White House

by Anonymous

After thorough discussion and review by Eric Holder, please accept with no obligation expressed or implied, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low-stress,...

WikiLeaks Revelations Prompt Unprecedented, Tearful State Department Apology

by Emily Posey

WASHINGTON — The United States’ top diplomat Hillary Clinton today applauded the recent WikiLeaks release of hundreds of thousands of documents that detail the nation’s strong-armed...

Obama Administration Now Offering Free Physicals and Beer with Every Full-Body Airport Scan

by Jared Tatis

WASHINGTON — After weeks of public outcry and lawsuit threats, the administration bowed to demands Monday and announced that airport full-body scans will now include an...

President Files Own Impeachment Forms as Part of Midterm Election Ritual

by Adam Utley

WASHINGTON — Upon return from his ten-day tour of Asia, President Obama gathered with newly empowered Republican leaders for the first time since the election. Both...

Haiti Opts Out of Remainder of Hurricane Season

by Bill Heid

PORT-AU-PRINCE — After hurricane Tomas ripped through Haiti, destroying some 5,000 houses and causing 18 million dollars in new damage, Haiti’s Prime Minister Jean-Max Bellerive announced...