FDA Determines Fatal Risks From Hogwarts Magical Wands
WASHINGTON – The U.S. Food and Drug Administration said Wednesday that it plans to remove the Phoenix-Core Series of magical...
NFL and Congress Near Deal to Expand League to Reduce Unemployment
NEW YORK – With 13.9 million Americans unemployed, the U.S. Congress stepped up closed-door negotiations Tuesday with the National Football...
Donald Trump Aims to Prove Seriousness of Presidential Bid by Invading Uzbekistan
WASHINGTON — Business celebrity and purported presidential candidate, Donald Trump formed an exploratory committee to develop a military strategy for having...
Egypt-inspired Americans Protest Lack of Super Bowl Seating
ARLINGTON — After the eighteen-day success of mass protests in Egypt to overthrow its thirty-year dictator, groups of Americans have...
Obama Administration Now Offering Free Physicals and Beer with Every Full-Body Airport Scan
WASHINGTON — After weeks of public outcry and lawsuit threats, the administration bowed to demands Monday and announced that airport...
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